I'm A Big Girl Now

I remember with such fondness talking with my daddy as he spoke of the realization that he was growing older. He poignantly told me that one day it just happened. "I put my hand through the arm of my coat sleeve and out slipped my father's hand on the other end." Today I think I know how he felt. Today I put on my pants and when I looked in the mirror I saw my mother's butt. Not the tight full butt of her youth, but my mother's middle-aged butt. Overnight-boom.

DNA structure is beyond my comprehension. I do remember a little about dominant and recessive genes. I know there are some traits I got from my mother and some I inherited from my daddy. But, I also know something else-that bitch Giselle Bundchen is walking around in my body. The reason I know this is, because of my feature checklist.

1. my daddy- has tall-long legs .......Giselle- has tall long legs
2. my daddy- has a square jaw & strong features...Giselle- has a square jaw & strong features
3. my daddy-has a small butt-no fat..............Giselle-has a small butt-no fat
4. my daddy-has sandy blond hair.............Giselle-has sandy blond hair
5. my daddy-height(5'11").................Giselle-height(5'10.5")
6. my mother-muscular arms............Giselle-muscular arms
7. my mother-wavy hair.................Giselle-wavy hair
8. my mother-small waist..............Giselle-small waist
9. my mother-pretty eyes............Giselle-pretty eyes
10. my mother-small boobs..........Giselle-small boobs

There you have it-proof that there must have been a mix up in the gene pool. Even at 45 years old if I had gotten what was rightfully mine, I would be able to throw on my slimmest jeans, tightest skirts or workout pants without a layer of Lycra or Spanx sucking in all the imperfections. But, I understand that possession is 9/10 of the law and since Giselle does possess my body there is not a thing I can do about it. I will just accept that I inherited the height of my maternal great-grandmother (a sort of Mickey Rooney stature), the butt of the Brewer's(my mother's family) and the strong square jaw of my father. So who am I to question God's creation?