You Are What You Buy!

I am convinced there is a guy on Madison Avenue who was assigned to me twenty-three years ago when I got out of college and started making my own money. He was probably a young associate then and the big brass probably brought him in and said something like this. "Listen, we have this little girl from Alabama who is going to help make you rich. If you just stick with her and advertise specifically for her buying habits you will have it made!" One day you will be senior partner of this firm and you can teach others how to make it rich in advertising-one consumer at a time.

In the beginning the guy started out with the Tab account. He told the powers that be-"we should put this diet cola in a sleek red can with pin stripes-that'll give it a classy look-and market it with beautiful slender woman drinking it while she is living an exciting life. Oh, yeah-she'll definitely buy it. Saccharin-cancer! Who cares what they say! She'll buy it!

As I got older, got married and had children. My guy on Madison Avenue said to the Pampers people, "It's like this-your diapers are more expensive than Luvs, but unlike the Luvs people, who admit they are cheaper, we will really stress the fact that you care more if you use Pampers-they are more comfortable for your baby (like the baby can tell us) and they have a more natural feeling material-but it is still a disposable. We'll say it's like using natural cloth diapers, without the mess. Not plastic like all of the other diapers on the market. She will really think she is being progressive if you tell her this." While he was at it he told the Dial Antibacterial soap people that if they did a commercial with a mother in her child's nursery holding and cooing with her baby showing how germ-free they both are that I would buy batches of Dial liquid. "Look I know it is really just dishwashing liquid, he said, but we can make a lot of money with young mothers if we put it in a pump bottle and sell it for hand soap."

Over the years when anything new would be introduced to the market-my husband would say, "You are so good for the market if the people on the commercials look good or the packaging is pretty-you buy it!" I, of course, denied it. I am an independent soul- a free thinker. I would never-could never- be influenced by the effects of the advertising industry.

Then, I caught myself the other day while I was in Publix. I passed over my usual Fiji water on the water aisle. Actually Fiji water is a very clean and pure tasting water, although I have never seen a commercial for it. But, I do have to admit- I LOVE those square bottles with the picture of the Island of Fiji on it. Don't some celebrities actually own some islands in the archipelago of Fiji. Well I'll probably never visit there-so at least I can drink the water. This is what my Madison Avenue guy was hoping.

Then, it all changed. Forget Fiji when I could look like Jennifer Aniston. So I went all the way to the other side of the store to find the Smart Water. Smart Water is SO special that it has its own kiosk-away from all of the other waters. Maybe Jennifer requested that! You know her water being "set apart" from all of the other common waters. I stocked up on a buggy full of Smart Water. Cha-Ching Cha-Ching! and as I got my Special K, I swear my waist immediately dropped two inches- and grabbed the Jif, because-yes you guessed it-I am a choosy mother. I left the store feeling somewhat "had." I tried to dismiss it; I have ALWAYS felt this way-those marketers are not influencing me-they are just art or advertising imitating life.

My next stop was to my skin care shop to buy my Kinerase. I really do like the way it feels on my skin, but there is a poster of Courtney Cox on the wall in the lobby of my skin-care shop. If I just put the Kinerase on my skin morning and night those wrinkles from all the years of sun exposure will just disappear. No Botox-just Kinerase. Beautiful skin just like Courtney's.

My Madison Avenue guy is very proud. He created me-a consumer with taste. I have never bought anything NO-AD in my life. I am now an admitted marketing marionette. I just secretly hope that when I wake up tomorrow-just a little Jennifer and Courtney will rub off on me.